Illusive Smile Smile, even you're desperate..

Tired in handling everything by myself.


I'm not Superman and I deserve to take a break.


The feeling of successful, fulfillment, being cared, self satisfaction, appreciation.... 

On such a hot afternoon, I'm settling my assignment and getting frustrated. When log in in to Facebook I saw an article titled "乞丐的《市场营销学》让我惭愧！！" translated as Beggar's Marketing Strategy made me felt shamed on myself.


To fulfill my curiosity, I went through the article and below is the article I copied from the site.

分享感想：

There's a teenager named Jericho. With an ordinary looks, nothing special, one word: ordinary, to describe him. As Jericho's daily routine, he just attend classes, hanging out with friends, surfing Internet and doing revision like other ordinary students. He always believe that he got nothing special beneath himself, perhaps being ordinary wasn't a bad thing.


As a net surfer, there's a girl named Jacqueline starts to appear in his life. Both Jericho and Jacqueline initially had a nice conversation through instant messaging in the Internet. Both of them frequently encourage each other to face problems in their real life. Communication continues for quite a period, both of them decided to meet each other. Through their second meeting, Jacqueline request to start a relationship with Jericho, the reason Jericho is a nice guy. Jericho know that Jacqueline is ambitious and bold. Her actions are impulsive and highly optimistic by nature. Due to her sincerity, Jericho decided to give each other a chance. Jericho demand a lady who know how to cook, cheer him up and able to share everything with her. For him, coupling also means 2 individuals grow together to face the world, encouragement from each other is very important. Although Jacqueline don't know how to cook and kind of bold, he also tolerate with her because nobody is perfect include himself. As simple like ABC, a pair of new couple starts to appear in the town.

Both Jericho and Jacqueline demand a low profile relationship, that's why not much people know about it. People who knows about it are close friends of them. Jericho always worried that Jacqueline being alone and don't have companions, he frequently visit her. She stays quite far from Jericho but Jericho insist to visit her because that's his responsibility. Both of them are having life which ordinary couples had. Nice scenes never maintain forever, after a month they couple up, storm cloud starts to appear between them.

One day, Jacqueline felt sick and of course Jericho is definitely worried about her condition. Jericho go to her place and take care of her. Well with all the worries on his heart, he barely can smile towards Jacqueline and thinking what else he can do to help her. The next day, Jacqueline appears to seem OK in the beginning but sickness starts to conquer her again. Jericho is extra ordinary worry about her and go to her place immediately. On the moment, Jacqueline keep denying that she's sick. Her sickness and her patient reached to limit, she start to get real mad on Jericho. Jericho used to ask her the reason when she smile randomly, and to Jacqueline his method shows irrespectively. As a man, Jericho put his pride away and admit the mistake but it seems like Jacqueline still mad about it. When coupling with Jacqueline, this is the first time Jericho felt sad because he felt like his efforts for all along are nothing for Jacqueline. It seems like Jacqueline never appreciate what he had done to her. His teasing towards Jacqueline, with the purpose to cheer up the situation seems like showing disrespect towards her. With a broken heart, Jericho went home with a tired body. At that moment, Jericho actually have tonnes of works waiting for him to solve. By putting Jacqueline as his priority, and this is what he obtain exhaust and the feeling of despair which he think he had abandon it a long time ago.

On the next day, Jericho really fail to hide his despair and sadness, decided to be share with Jacqueline. Jacqueline seems like mad towards Jericho. He tried to get comfort from her, but it ended up he is the one who try to cheer Jacqueline. It's OK for him because Jericho willing to tolerate and bring what's best to both of them. Jacqueline demand this and that characteristic from Jericho to have a change and Jericho agree without thinking twice. He just want her to cheer up but at the same time his despair in his heart is getting darker and deeper. When the moment Jericho asking whether Jacqueline willing to change for him like what he currently did to her now, it's like a taboo. This question starts to turn the table off. Jacqueline decided to break up with Jericho, but Jericho wanted to save the relationship. For him, every relationships is precious and he told her to take it as an experience in their relationship. With her attitude, she just won't give a damn anymore and decided to break up. With a broken heart, that night was a sleepless night for Jericho again. It's been 3 days Jericho being sleepless. 1st day was worried about Jacqueline's condition, 2nd day was about his despair and 3rd day was the end of his relationship with Jacqueline.

Jericho wonders, Jacqueline didn't fulfill his demand condition as his dream girl but he still accept her. Why Jacqueline can't tolerate for this time and appears like she did nothing wrong at all. Jericho bears all the sin during their relationship, carry all the bad things even he didn't did it. He tried to get up over a break-up by doing this that he like such as shopping, have nice meals, having alcohol drinks at a nice surrounding and watch dramas. The question: what is my mistake still stick in his mind. After a week he break up with Jacqueline, he had a conversation with her again, asking about his mistake. Jacqueline told him that she demand a simple relationship, but wasn't that what Jericho is providing all along and she still can't feel it.

Calling her cute nickname like other couples had trampling her pride, showing disrespect towards her by the method he teasing her by asking what are you smiling at, and never trust her view which is Jericho must admit Jacqueline wasn't sick but the fact she's really sick.

Jacqueline, Jericho learn that treating everyone too nice isn't gonna works. He'll continue his life but with a theory in his mind: "why should I treat you so nice? I'll treat you based on the way you treat me." Jericho is also a normal human being, he had his own anger, and same goes to Jacqueline. Jericho being tolerate when the moment she being mad but why don't she did the same thing as well. Isn't that tolerate should available in a relationship? The absence of Jacqueline's tolerance is one of the facts that made both of them back to single life. Jericho changed a lot for others demand, want him appears to be full with humour, cheerful and etc. This time, like what Jacqueline demand (change for your own purpose) he changed for his own purpose, no more "Mr Nice Guy" to strangers or ordinary people. All along he tried to protect others but what he got is a bleeding heart and a body full with scars and pain, no people never and ever appreciate his efforts. Perhaps it's time for him to protect himself being hurt by others. That's the only thing he learn from coupling with Jacqueline. Until now, Jericho still had a question in his heart for Jacqueline: "would you willing to change your personality for me?"

Thank you, Jacqueline.

Thank you...

It's has been a while I manage to be in a carefree mode. When is the last time I able to be so carefree? This recalled me about what happen last year. Year 2010, it is consider the turning point for my life...


After ended STPM on the year 2009, the early year of 2010 is one of the most carefree moment in my life but happiness can't last long as well. Enjoyed my job as a Merchandiser for F&N before Chinese New Year starts and my Chinese New Year celebration as well. 26/02/2010, the worst day ever happen in my life. Got my STPM results which is totally despair for me. It brings big changes to my social circle and despair started to devour me. For such a long time, I break into tears and I don't know what I can do about it.

The whale had been in the deep sea region for quite some time. It's time for the whale to return and it means it's time for the whale to meet the jellyfish again. During the moment in the deep sea region, communication between the whale and the jellyfish is still available.

Lately, the old companion of the jellyfish appears again. Although it's not the first time he appears since the whale know him but this time he came back with preparation. He manage to drag the attention of the jellyfish until the jellyfish forgot the appearance of the whale. Since the whale is in the deep sea region, he can't come back in time due to personal reason. Now it seems like it's the end for the whale and the jellyfish being together.

Not being sad and down for the whale is a lie. The whale used to be good in hiding his emotion but this time he seriously fail to achieve until the nearby sea creatures also can sense it. The whale still believe there's still hope available. Is it the stubbornness or being optimistic? God knows....

The silly whale almost lost his interest to continue wandering around in the deep sea region and hope to be with the jellyfish to solve all the issues. The old companion of the jellyfish is truly annoying his mind but the whale can't do a thing. Now there's a important event happening in the deep sea region and the whale must do his best to get a nice score for the event. The motivations that he used to had, it seems like disappearing and fading.

There's a type of love named no fate and there's a type of abandon named fulfill.

Should the whale fulfill the desire of the old companion of the jellyfish and abandon his own demand by let them couple back together?

Actually what the whale want is a companion who really cares about him and prove to himself that he still had the passion to get himself a companion. It seems like there's a mountain blocking him to achieve this objectives all the time.

Choose among to love or being loved.

The whale will choose to love the one he like and try hard to change her opinion towards him. The whale tried his best for what he had done but there's no appreciation from his ex-companions as well. Maybe for the next time, the whale may choose to being loved by others. The whale is tired, exhausted and disappointed by it's past experience.

It's time for him to change his view of life....

From the very Begining, the girl's family objected strongly on her dating this guy. Saying that it has got to do with family background & that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him.

Due to family's pressure, the couple quarrel very often. Though the girl love the guy deeply, but she always ask him: ''How deep is your love for me?''

As the guy is not good with his words, this often cause the girl to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the girl often vent her anger on him. As for him, he only endure it in silence.

After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies in overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the girl: ''I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?''

The girl agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in & agreed to let them get married. So before he leave, they got engaged.

The girl went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas, continuing his studies. They sent their love through emails & phone calls. Though it's hard, but both never thought of giving up.

One day, while the girl was on her way to work, she was knocked down by a car that lost control. When she woke up, she saw her parents beside her bed. She realised that she was badly injured. Seeing her mum crying, she wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could come out of her mouth was just a sigh. She has lost her voice......

The doctors says that the impact on her brain has caused her to lose her voice. Listening to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming out from her, she broke down.

During the stay in hospital, besides silence cry,.....it's still just silence cry that companied her. Upon reaching home, everything seems to be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the phone. Which pierced into her heart everytime it rang. She does not wish to let the guy know. & not wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a letter to him saying that she does not wish to wait any longer.

With that, she sent the ring back to him. In return, the guy sent millions & millions of reply, and countless of phonecalls,.. all the girl could do, besides crying, is still crying....

The parents decided to move away, hoping that she could eventually forget everything & be happy.

With a new environment, the girl learn sign language & started a new life. Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy. One day, her friend came & told her that he's back. She asked her friend not to let him know what happened to her. Since then, there wasn't anymore news of him.A year has passed & her friend came with an envelope, containing an invitation card for the guy's wedding. The girl was shattered. When she open the letter, she saw her name in it instead.

When she was about to ask her friend what's going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her. He used sign language telling her ''I've spent a year's time to learn sign language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. Let me have the chance to be your voice. I Love You. With that, he slipped the ring back into her finger. The girl finally smiled.

When the whale continue swimming into the deeper region of the ocean, he realised that he's not alone. Inside the deeper ocean, he still manage to know more friends and having fun.

But the water pressure was too strong and damage will be done to the whale as well. The only thing which encourage him to continue swim in the deeper ocean is jellyfish. Thinking of jellyfish, this will provide him mental strength to overcome anything in the deep ocean.

Until one day, jellyfish's friend arrived and inform the whale that jellyfish's isn't available. Well long before the whale know jellyfish, jellyfish had a companion(who is way more better than whale). He arrived and share some of jellyfish's information. The whale felt like his relationship with jellyfish is being threaten. He felt like he knows not much about jellyfish and he can't able to take care of jellyfish with this distance. Although the companion of jellyfish is also far from jellyfish but it able to get to jellyfish anytime it wants, not like the whale. The whale is of course absolutely sad about this incident but the feeling towards jellyfish is a real deal.

Should he continue wait? Or give up?

Once upon a time, there's a young whale which always swimming in a pack with his kind.

One day this young whale get lost with it's group and separated from them.
This lonely whale keep swimming in the ocean hoping to trace it's way back to his group.

On his journey, this whale manage to make friends with other sea creatures.
They never fail to cheer the whale when it's moody and always provide it a hand.

The whale manage to regain it's confidence and never looks dull and worry like in the past.

Among this sea creatures, this whale had a crush with a jellyfish.
They always swim together and the whale want to know more about this jellyfish.


One day the whale must swim into the deep sea area which other sea creature's can't follow it due to high water pressure.
The whale felt freaking sad because he gonna left it's gang especially jellyfish.

Before it swim into the deeper zone in the ocean, the sea creatures threw a party for it and wish the whale good luck in it's future path.
At the same time, the whale brought it's guts and confess to the jellyfish but it turns up an epic fail.

Well this whale just won't give up so easily, it try to get near to the jellyfish and try to entertain it.
Both of them had a chance to swim in pairs.
During that time of period the whale took out it's courage and confess again but the result still being the same

Jellyfish told the whale: "you gonna left soon and you'll manage to get some better fish to accompany you in your journey. I can't endure the high water pressure like you had. this is what God gave you. The ability to explore the ocean more than other creatures but not me".

The whale, of course turning even sad and ask whether next time when he manage to find it's pack back which consume it some couple of years, will the jellyfish provide it a chance to being together?

The jellyfish just tell the whale to find someone better than itself. The whale is kinda confuse, is it because of having a different background with the jellyfish, so the offer being rejected.

Well the whale think that both of them should provide each other a chance to explore the ocean together to know whether they can be good partners.

Now, the whale put all of it's hope in the search of the deep ocean.
Other sea creatures continue their life as usual in the ocean.
The whale is alone again like during the past.
The only thing different is now it miss jellyfish so badly.

The whale is wandering:
1. whether jellyfish will change it's mind to partner together with it again in the future.
2. will the jellyfish really willing to wait the whale to return?

In your opinion, is it worth for the whale to miss the jellyfish?